My Mama Said
As a mother I know that it is my sacred duty to help my children navigate through this thing we call life. I try to gift them with little pearls of wisdom every chance I get and I know that they are taking these shiny gems of advice and tucking them away in their hearts.
As I was growing up my own sweet mother would often bestow little nuggets of wisdom upon my humble head. She had one in particular that was her favorite and this is how it would usually go:
“Mom,†said child. “I’m feeling tired.â€
“You need to go and eat an egg,†said Mom.
Or “Mom, I’m feeling a little lonely today,†said child.
“Then you should probably go and eat an egg,†said Mom.
If my memory serves me correctly there was a loud scratching noise like a needle being ripped off a vinyl record and I looked at my mom and said, “Huh?â€
“Go and eat an egg. They are good for you and you don’t eat enough of them.â€
Was this her dastardly way of getting me to eat eggs? Why would she even say this to me when she knew how much I hated eggs? Usually I would just say, “Uh never mind, I’m fine.†And go on my merry way.
Now I’m sure that the number of times my mom gave me this advice has been greatly exaggerated in my mind but looking back on my childhood it seemed like it was her solution to EVERYTHING.
A few years later when I was in college and a good friend of mine was telling me some sad story about her life I said to her, “If I were my mom I’d tell you to go eat an egg.â€
“Really,†my friend asked. “Well my mom’s answer to all of life’s troubles was to take a brisk walk.â€
We both laughed and talked about how maybe our lives would be so much better if we started eating eggs and taking brisk walks at the same time.
Let’s fast forward to present day where I’m trying really hard to be a good mom to my children. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from my little kids is “My tummy hurts.†How as their mother do I take care of this issue nebulous issue? Well, I start thinking of why someone’s tummy might be hurting and the number one problem that comes to my mind is that they probably need to go poop or, as we like to lovingly call it our house they need to “clear the chuteâ€.
The other things that I often deal with as a mother are the little aches and pains of my children. More frequently than I ever thought possible my they come to me and say “My toe/nose/elbow/eyeball hurtsâ€. To this I usually say, “It’s probably tired, you should go and take a nap.â€
It wasn’t until my children started to come up and say, “Mom my tummy hurts and no I don’t have to poop†that I decided that maybe I need to get some new advice. Just the other day Geoff looked at me and said, “I think a good epitaph for your headstone would be ‘She’s gone to clear the chute and take a nap’.†Hhhmm… I guess I need to come up with some better bits of wisdom to share with my family.
Until then if you find yourself feeling sick/sad/lonely/angry, then I suggest you eat an egg, take a brisk walk, clear the chute, and take a nap!
What bits of advice did your mama give to you?
The piece of advice I remember most from my mom is “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Most people who know me well would describe me as quiet and non-confrontational. Go figure.
Comment by Eric Nielson — January 28, 2009 @ 9:38 am
Nice work K. I laughed out loud at this post.
I thought your epitaph was going to be advice to the readers and descendants who came after you. Maybe something like: “Not feeling well honey? Try clearing the chute and taking a nap.”
Comment by Geoff J — January 28, 2009 @ 10:06 am
if you find yourself feeling sick/sad/lonely/angry, then I suggest you eat an egg, take a brisk walk, clear the chute, and take a nap!
Love it. Oddly — I suspect that may actually work…
Comment by Geoff J — January 28, 2009 @ 10:08 am
Not my Mom, but my Dad firmly believes just about any ailment can be cured by gargling with warm salt water.
Of course this is the same man who also believes that all world problems can be traced back to “France and that damn Degaulle.”
Comment by TStevens — January 28, 2009 @ 10:23 am
Awesome.
Comment by Jacob J — January 28, 2009 @ 12:31 pm
Oh yeah, my mom is also crazy about the salt water too. She thinks everyone should use a netty pot on a very regular basis.
Comment by kristen j — January 28, 2009 @ 1:20 pm
I don’t remember my mom giving advice. I don’t actually have many memories involving my parents from when I was small.
If my son is cranky, it’s always because he hasn’t eaten or gotten enough sleep. He hates it when I point this out to him, though. When he gets upset I just head to the kitchen to make him something to eat. Otherwise we’ll just sit and argue about whether or not he needs to eat something.
Comment by Susan M — January 28, 2009 @ 4:55 pm
Just remembered a Mom saying from something I posted at my blog – It is good luck if a bird craps on your head, because what are the chances of that?
Comment by TStevens — January 28, 2009 @ 5:15 pm
When you get pooped on by a bird and you happen to examine that pooh, did you know that the black part in the middle of the pooh is actually the pooh and the white coating on the outside is urine?
I learned that a couple of months ago. I was quite fascinated.
Comment by kristen j — January 28, 2009 @ 5:43 pm
My mom on us complaining that we were too sick or tired to do something:
“Most of the worlds work is done by sick and tired people.”
Comment by anon — January 29, 2009 @ 5:21 pm
My mom used to say we were giving her a hysterectomy when we were being bad. It was quite embarrassing when I started using that euphemism.
One of the only things I can remember from my only face to face encounter with Thomas S. Monson was that his superstitious mother would say “Don’t eat the tip of an ice cream cone, there might be a fly in it.”
Comment by Matt W. — January 29, 2009 @ 8:24 pm
Hehe. That totally makes no sense Matt. Thus it rules.
Maybe if your kids are being naughty you could start saying “you children are giving me a vasectomy!”
Comment by Geoff J — January 29, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
According to my mom all ailments can be cured by drinking more water.
Oh and that bird crap tidbit was nasty! LOL
Comment by flip flop mama — January 30, 2009 @ 9:11 pm
My mom was always there for us and she was always the first I would turn to for advice, but I cannot think of many things she would say repeatedly.
I do remember one time, though, when she said that quality time with your family doesn’t mean much if you don’t have a great deal of quantity time with them as well. Quality time may build memories, but quantity time is when real learning and growing occurs. Families need a lot of both.
I’ve never forgotten that.
– Chas
Comment by Chas Hathaway — February 20, 2009 @ 12:58 pm