Not for the Faint of Fart!
I must warn you that this post is not for the faint of heart. I plan on using the words fart, poop, and belch a lot in this post so if these words bother you than you should stop reading now!
We’ve all heard the phrase “Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus”. Sometimes I think this is a cheesy phrase but at other times I think it has some merit. As a woman there are things that I definitely don’t understand about men. One thing I don’t understand is their fascination with poop, farts, and belches. I’m pretty sure that this is a universal thing making no distinction between age, class, color or size.
I grew up in a house with several sisters and only one brother. There were not very many farting or belching episodes in our house. Anytime my brother would try to instigate any kind of belching or farting fest us girls would all level the crustiest looks upon him that we could muster and he would walk away, shoulders drooping. I think his yearly scout camp must have been a wonderful, restful week for him.
My husband grew up with 5 brothers and only one sister. His formative years were quite different from mine. I don’t have specifics to share with you here, he will have to fill you in if he so chooses. I do know that whenever we are at family gatherings the only sure way to get all of the brothers to participate in a conversation is to have it revolve around bodily functions (or Simpsons episodes).
The reason I bring this up is because of a dinner experience my family had this evening. We were all tucking into our spaghetti, someone making an occasional comment, when suddenly, “Buuuurrrrpppp!” Out comes this huge belch out of my tiny son. That’s not the end of it though. Next he lets loose with a big giant belly laugh. A laugh that originates from your toes and tells the world that you are completely delighted with what you have just accomplished. I look over at my husband. He’s not laughing but he does have a big grin on his face.
So tell me gentlemen (ladies too, if you have a clue) what is the fascination with belches, farts and poop?
Belching is always funny. That’s just a fact.
This post reminds me that my parents never let any of us kids use the word “fart.” It is basically a swear word in my house. I am in my late 20s and I still can’t say the word “fart” in front of my parents.
Comment by NFlanders — October 20, 2005 @ 9:39 pm
Ha!
My mom hates that word. She also hates the word butt. One time she got so fed up with us she yelled, “Ok, the word butt is banned in this house!” So then we all went around saying things like, “Get your banned out of my face.” That didn’t last too long.
I hope you don’t think I’m too crass though. We don’t say fart too often in my house. Mostly we just say toot. In fact, my son always likes to announce the fact that he tooted.
Comment by Kristen J — October 20, 2005 @ 9:46 pm
My five-year-old is currently in the midst of a fascination with all things poop. Well, all things verbally poop. She says the word all the time, works it into little songs, throws in a butt every now and then, and laughs hysterically about all of it.
I’d bet that given an equal playing field of socialization, your statement:
would hold true for gender, as well. That is, I’m guessing that girls aren’t encouraged like little boys are to find that stuff funny.
Comment by Justin H — October 20, 2005 @ 9:53 pm
Ok, ok, I’ll give it to you Justin. I secretly find most of that stuff pretty funny. One thing I truly don’t have is the level of endurance for these jokes that my husband and son do. I get to the “alright already” point much sooner than they do.
Comment by Kristen J — October 20, 2005 @ 10:01 pm
LOL! I knew it!
My question (since you’ve already put up the disclaimer), is how many of your readers have “gambled and lost?”
My wife thinks that particular euphemism (and I suspect the situation to which it obliquely refers) is hilarious, and I can always get a giggle out of her with a G&L story.
[Feel free to delete if I’ve crossed the line.] :-)
Comment by Justin H — October 20, 2005 @ 10:17 pm
For the record, my sister is the belching champion of my family. What’s sad is that she married a pretty proper guy who discourages it. My sister doesn’t do it any more as a result. Sad.
Okay, now it’s list time.
FART (when I was a kid): pass gas, toot, and cut the cheese.
FART (as an adult): fart
POOP (when I was a kid): messy, number two
POOP (friend’s childhood word): big job
POOP (as an adult): crap, dump, duke, pinching a loaf, laying cable, throwin’ mud, making room, defecate, cagar (Spanish), etc.
PEE (when I was a kid): tinkle
PEE (as an adult): pee, piss, urinate, mear (Spanish), etc.
Anyone else feel free to add to the list :)
Comment by Rusty — October 20, 2005 @ 10:48 pm
Well, since I’m in for a penny, as they say…
My only addition is for “poop,” my mom always said “biggie.”
I can’t eat at Wendy’s to this day.
Comment by Justin H — October 21, 2005 @ 12:12 am
What can of worms have I opened now?
Justin, you’re going to have to tell me what G&L means, remember I didn’t have too many brothers. I think it means “letting one loose and then getting caught”.
I’ll tell you that if you are constantly carrying around a diaper wearing baby you can always gamble and never lose. I always just say, “Wow, you are one stinky baby! Let’s go change your diaper.”
Rusty-Gross! I would add to your list, there are some gross ones I know but being a proper lady I will not partake.
Comment by Kristen J — October 21, 2005 @ 1:14 am
Ummm, I suspect it is the baby that can gamble and not lose, not the parent… (Is that the idea Justin?)
You clearly have been hanging around at Banner of Heaven too much Kristen. This post would be perfect for them.
Rusty — You’re disgusting dude. (The drummer in one of my bands called it “clearing the chute”, BTW)
Comment by Geoff J — October 21, 2005 @ 1:24 am
The euphemism at my house is *being healthy*. As in, *We need to stop at the next gas station, I need to be healthy.*
I think that G&L is what we called a brown out on my mission.
I taught my daughter to use micturate for number one. *Daddy, I have to micturate.*
Comment by Floyd the Wonderdog — October 21, 2005 @ 6:19 am
I can tell that I am way too puerile for this blog. I apologize to all and sundry!
Comment by Justin H — October 21, 2005 @ 6:23 am
Ned, we weren’t allowed to use the word fart as children in my family, either. I could never understand it. It was my dad who wouldn’t allow it.
But this was the guy who’s worse swear word was “fiddlesticks!”
(And can you believe my parents aren’t LDS?)
My youngest son has the biggest sense of potty humor in our family–although we all have a healthy dose of it. When he was a toddler I called him Sweat Pea, and he always thought I was saying Sweet Pee, and he would laugh and laugh.
He’s never been very good at getting away with anything. Once when he was about 5, we were all watching tv, when he suddenly called out, “Nobody smell anything!”
Comment by Susan M — October 21, 2005 @ 7:06 am
Oh, poop is hilarious (see FMH or Mommy Wars). So are farts. I think the main difference I see is that while many of both sexes find the topic funny on some level, women don’t like public performances. Although for some reason, my daughters don’t seem to be as embarrassed by it as I am.
My eight-year-old daughter recently completed a large art project for her enriched art class at school (this is a select group of art students who get extra art instruction in smaller groups). The topic of her painting was a visual pun about “cutting the cheese.” Her teacher loved it. It’s displayed prominently in the Kindergarten hallway.
Comment by Allison — October 21, 2005 @ 7:37 am
My four-year-old son let a huge stinker rip in a department store a few weeks ago. It was really bad. I was reeling back and vainly waving my hand in front of my nose to dissipate the smell. He just laughed and laughed.
From time to time, he’ll say to me, “Hey, Papa. Remember that time in the store when I farted and it was very stinky?”
Comment by Kim Siever — October 21, 2005 @ 7:58 am
Ok, I have a funny story but it’s kind of emberassing to me. One day I was sitting at the kitchen table and I happen to “cut the cheese” silently.
Well, my 2-year-old daughter happened to be walking right behind me at just the wrong moment. She gave me a funny look, grabbed the back of my pants pulled them open and peered down them to check and see if I had a stinky diaper.
I laughed long and loud at that one!
Comment by Kristen J — October 21, 2005 @ 9:13 am
Ha! Ha! That is one funny story!
Comment by bubbles — October 21, 2005 @ 9:15 am
Even though I smile when my 4 year old says, “I’ve got the toots!” I find this conversation quite disturbing. :)
Comment by J. Stapley — October 21, 2005 @ 9:52 am
Rusty, I read mom your list and she’s appalled, I laughed.
Only Kristen could get away a post like this and still come out a lady.
Comment by don — October 21, 2005 @ 10:37 am
Oh, I forgot the best one: in Guatemala we used the word “bu” as it stood for [… something you don’t want to know – editors]
Comment by Rusty — October 21, 2005 @ 11:56 am
Rusty, I’m so telling your mom!
Comment by kristen j — October 21, 2005 @ 12:04 pm
Oh, I’ve told my mom. She chuckled. C’mon, she’s married to Don!
(I can’t believe you censored that, it wasn’t that bad!)
Comment by Rusty — October 21, 2005 @ 2:56 pm
Do you guys also dislike the words “pissed off?” It seems so appropriate to me, but two of my best friends object to it. It’s not ladylike, but it seems to say it all.
Gambled and lost….my neighbor, who is a cute, petite kindergarten teacher, took the gamble and lost one day at school. When she was wearing white pants. What is really funny is to hear her refined little voice describing it.
Although technically, school had just gotten out and she’d gone back into her office and no one knew. Except me. And now you. And a few other friends I had to tell.
Comment by annegb — October 21, 2005 @ 3:30 pm
Actually i’ve heard about bu from other rm who went to s america. i think africa is another bu place. it sounds lovely!
Comment by kristen j — October 21, 2005 @ 3:31 pm
Oh you guys are not going to think I’m a lady anymore, but sometimes I think “pissed off” can be so appropriate. I also think “screwed” can be so perfect at times.
My father-in-law absolutely hates the word crap and I use that word all the time. Sometimes I feel like such a jerk when I use it around him.
Comment by kristen j — October 21, 2005 @ 3:34 pm
Yeah, I’ll bet you feel like crap when that word slips out around him, huh?
Speaking of that, the great Strongbad is well known for exclaiming “holy crap!”
Comment by Geoff J — October 21, 2005 @ 4:20 pm
Ah, annegb (22)(and Floyd the WD, 10): I’m so glad I’m not the only one who knows that particular expression.
Comment by Justin H — October 21, 2005 @ 5:12 pm
I hate the expressing “pissed off”. It just sounds dirty to me. I do like to say fart and crap though. Kristen, I always chuckle a little inside when it slips out in front of said father-in-law because it’s so innocent sounding to me. :)
Here’s a funny fart story: On Monday I was helping my sister and brother-in-law move. We were getting ready to leave the house so I picked up my daughter. I smelled this horrible stench said, “Wow you stink!” and pulled her up to smell her butt. While doing so my brother-in-law was in front of me and he said, “No that was me! I just farted!”
I thought he was very noble for not pinning it on the innocent 10 month old :)
Comment by Jamie J — October 21, 2005 @ 9:06 pm
I grew up with five older brothers. I got farted on a lot. Or, as my mother always made me say “stinkered” on. The f-word was banned of course.
In the last decade or so, we’ve openly rebelled against the fart-word ban. We still don’t say crap or turd in front of the parents, but by some cosmic mutual agreement, we’ve all started using the f-word at every family gathering. It’s fun to watch the ‘rents twitch. It’s pretty much impossible, when your children are pushing 50, to tell them they can’t say “fart”.
Comment by fMhLisa — October 21, 2005 @ 9:28 pm
The f-word was strictly not allowed not only in my family but my extended family as well. My favorite fart story is from my uncle, who because of the amazingly repressed nature of my mom, grew up thinking that girls didn’t fart. He was in high school when he got into an argument with his friends about it. He thought it was a physical occurrance unique to boys only!!!!
Comment by meems — October 22, 2005 @ 2:54 am
My Mom would NOT let any of her 4 boys belch or fart in the house. So oftimes at Dinner one of us would excuse ourselves, head for the front door (about 10 feet away), barely get ourself out the door and let loose. She frowned, but tolerated it, because she admitted we were technically outside.
Comment by Daylan — October 22, 2005 @ 2:13 pm
I’m a girl and I think farts are really funny, still, even though I’m 22. I always have. I’m sure I always will.
I think my humor in the whole pooo, fart, burping, comes from just being realistic. Things happen. People poop. People get caught in funny pooping situations (in my case, having gone #2 in a public bathroom stall only to find out that there is no toilet paper). People get caught in funny farting situations (again, in my case, when my friends and I were camping and one girl farted so bad that the rest of us wanted to leave the tent, but we were scared since it was the middle of the night, so we were suffering in the odor.). I’d say rather than be embarrassed by it, I allow myself to find the humor in it.
Becuase inevitably, everyone will fart in front of someone they didn’t want to and in that case, it’s better to just laugh it off.
Comment by adrianne — October 23, 2005 @ 11:27 am
Too true!
One time when I was in jr. high and sneezed and farted at the same time! It was incredibly embarassing. It’s funny to me now.
Comment by kristen j — October 23, 2005 @ 6:27 pm
Farting is amazing.
Gambling is amazing, but only when you win.
Comment by D-Train — October 24, 2005 @ 5:15 pm
My brother who lives in Denver calls #2 “dropping the kids off at the pool” and one night at basketball here I heard someone use that same phrase.
One of my sisters farts all the time, I mean seriously all the time, and then often laughs hysterically. So does my littlest brother. (laugh, I mean. Fart, too, sometimes, but not as much as her.) He’s grown up thinking farts are hilarious.
It my friend and her sister (both girls) who taught me about blue darts – I know some of you boys did those at scout camp. Probably some of you girls have also.
Finally, here’s my fart story (to complement my snot story on the other thread): okay, so this was 7th grade. We were doing a fitness test and it included sit-ups. You were supposed to hold the feet of the person next to you. So David Odell (I’ll remember that name for the rest of my life) was holding my feet and I was doing sit-ups, and I farted. And he asked the guy sitting next to him, “Did she just fart?” I categorically denied it, even though I had in fact just farted.
Comment by Heather P. — October 27, 2005 @ 2:56 pm
My brother who lives in Denver calls #2 “dropping the kids off at the pool”
LOL!
Best. Comment. Ever.
Heather P deserves some kind award for her comments here today.
Comment by Geoff J — October 27, 2005 @ 3:09 pm
i dropped off a couple of cosby kids!!!
Comment by bob — April 14, 2006 @ 11:45 pm